About two months ago, I was at subway for lunch, sitting as I normally do, by myself. Subway is my refuge from a very, very stressful work environment—The place I go to pray and renew my mind for the afternoon. My prayers were interrupted when a female voice, somewhat timidly asked, “Do you mind if I sit here.”
She paused, and then continued half pleading, “There are no other seats.”
I looked up from my prayer into the face of an attractive, well-built, bleached-blonde, Subway employee holding a purse, a sandwich, a drink, and a bag of chips. I have witnessed many lunch “dates” at this subway between men and women seeking or carrying on illicit relationships who, at the end of their day, went home to unknowing spouses. So subconsciously, I quickly scanned the restaurant’s seating situation and seeing that it was indeed full I nodded my approval as I said “Of course, have a seat.”
Once seated, she simply said, “It’s unusually full today.”
“Yes,” I answered. “It’s always busy, but usually most of the people just get their stuff to go.”
She got only a step from the table before she hastily turned and sat back down. She looked straight at me with intent, but nervous eyes and, in one long, run-on sentence, she blurted out, “For a moment there I almost lost my nerve…Would you like to go out with me this evening? We could go to dinner and then see what happens after that? I’ve never done this kind of thing before and my husband would kill me if he found out, but he’s out of town on business for five more days. He is so mean and disrespectful to me, our sex life sucks, and, well, I’ve fallen in love with you over the last couple months.”
“Oh dang! How did I get into this mess,” I wondered, pausing for a few seconds to send up a quick prayer that I would respond with Christian love and concern and as a witness for Christ, yet let this young and confused girl know very clearly that I have no such interests outside my marriage.
“Mam,” I began not really knowing why I used that term since she was obviously less than half my 50 years. “Other than taking my order, making my sandwich, or taking my money a couple times we have had no conversation or other interaction, and I cannot imagine how I could possibly have given you any inducement or encouragement. How can you say you love me when you don’t even know me?”
“It’s not that you’ve ever given me any encouragement or really even seemed to notice me, but I can’t tell you how long I’ve waited for the courage and the opportunity to meet you. I know your heart and your character. I’ve watched you pay for part of other people’s lunch when they realized they don’t have enough money. I’ve watched you let nurses and technicians from the hospital go in front of you in line so they can get back to work in time. I saw you jump up and catch the door to save a small child’s hand from being crushed. I watched you catch a toddler that tripped as he walked past your table. I saw you give up your table to an elderly couple when there was no room for them to sit down. I watched you put money on the table of a single mother who bought sandwiches only for her kids because she couldn’t afford one for herself. That is what I wanted in a husband—what more do I need to know?”
“Mam,” I began again, “you are truly an attractive woman and I am flattered by your comments, but I have to unconditionally decline your offer. The traits of character that you witnessed are the result of my submission to Christ. What you observed was Christ at work through me. In order for me to go out with you, a married woman, irrespective of the fact that I am also married and deeply in love with my wife, I would have to turn my back on God and in doing so, those traits that you find so desirable would disappear. You see, without continual submission to Christ I probably would be much like your husband.”
Obviously still not willing to give up, she stated, half questioning, half pleading, “Your wife wouldn’t have to even know we went out, would she? I mean it’s not like we have to have sex after dinner, we could just see what happens at dinner, then maybe we do, maybe we don’t. Couldn’t you just say you have to work late? Really, she doesn’t need to know unless something develops between us, right? Please, oh please?”
“Mam,” I replied, again addressing her formally, “do you and your husband believe in God?”
“Yes…sort of…well…uh…we go to church together whenever he’s not away on business. Why?”
“Do you own a Bible and do you have Internet access?”
“Yes, we have several Bibles and we’ve got DSL Internet…Why?”
“Has your husband ever physically abused you?”
“No, never…I would have been gone long ago if he had.”
“OK. Has he ever cheated on you sexually?”
“I…I don’t think so, but he travels out-of-town about 10 weeks of the year and he’s sure to have had lots of opportunity…so maybe he has…I just don’t know for sure.”
“You said that your sex life sucked and that your husband treated you poorly, but I am almost certain that your marriage can be made wonderful including phenomenal sex with your husband, if both of you are willing to make some changes. You both need to surrender to God and learn about His plan for marriage and all the incredibly joyous and fulfilling blessings that go along with it. If you are even willing to try, I’ll write down a couple verses of scripture that I want you look at in context—that means read what comes before and after.” She nodded her willingness, so I continued, “I’m also writing down the URL of a blog about ‘sex, marriage, and faith in God’ as well as the URLs of a couple websites, and a direct link to some articles that I believe can be instrumental at putting the two of you on track toward a loving and trusting marriage and a fulfilling sex life.”
She began fidgeting and looking at her watch, so I stopped with what I had written to that point and handed her the slip of paper. She stood up, picked up her stuff again, and announced, “I’ve got to get back to work…Thanks…I’m so glad I spoke with you…I’ll look these up [holding up the slip of paper I had written on] as soon as I get home…well…right after I call my husband—I really need to do that. It’s odd, I’ve watched you for months and I never would have taken you for a Bible-thumper.”
And with that, she was off to make sandwiches for the rest of her shift and I packed up and drove back to work thinking about this young girl whose life Christ may have just been able to touch in some small way and how many thousands of others there are out there just like her.
Most often, when I witness to someone about my faith experience, that’s the end of it as far as I know. It is infrequent that I discover where the Holy Spirit has led someone after witnessing to them, but at lunch today I saw this Subway employee for the first time since our encounter many weeks ago. I don’t know if God intervened to arrange our schedules so we didn’t see each other before today or whether it was coincidence, but my experience leans toward the former almost every time.
I walked up to the counter to place my order and paused to decide what I wanted, when the girl behind the counter said, “Hey 'Bible-thumper,' are you gonna order or just stand there?"
“OK,” I replied thinking, “Oh no, what now? I knew I should have gone to Moe’s for lunch.”
A few minutes later she handed me a piece of paper folded into quarters and simply said, “Thanks, I need to get right back to work. Thanks again.”
I waited until I was outside to open the note and read it, but the dramatic softening in her appearance should have been the clue that I needn’t have worried about the content of the note. It read…
Once seated, she simply said, “It’s unusually full today.”
“Yes,” I answered. “It’s always busy, but usually most of the people just get their stuff to go.”
Then there were several minutes of silence while we both ate our lunch. As soon as she finished her sandwich, she picked up her drink and her bag of chips and, as she began to stand up, she said, “I’m sorry I wasn’t much company, but I only had a ten minute break so I had to eat fast.”
She got only a step from the table before she hastily turned and sat back down. She looked straight at me with intent, but nervous eyes and, in one long, run-on sentence, she blurted out, “For a moment there I almost lost my nerve…Would you like to go out with me this evening? We could go to dinner and then see what happens after that? I’ve never done this kind of thing before and my husband would kill me if he found out, but he’s out of town on business for five more days. He is so mean and disrespectful to me, our sex life sucks, and, well, I’ve fallen in love with you over the last couple months.”
“Oh dang! How did I get into this mess,” I wondered, pausing for a few seconds to send up a quick prayer that I would respond with Christian love and concern and as a witness for Christ, yet let this young and confused girl know very clearly that I have no such interests outside my marriage.
“Mam,” I began not really knowing why I used that term since she was obviously less than half my 50 years. “Other than taking my order, making my sandwich, or taking my money a couple times we have had no conversation or other interaction, and I cannot imagine how I could possibly have given you any inducement or encouragement. How can you say you love me when you don’t even know me?”
“It’s not that you’ve ever given me any encouragement or really even seemed to notice me, but I can’t tell you how long I’ve waited for the courage and the opportunity to meet you. I know your heart and your character. I’ve watched you pay for part of other people’s lunch when they realized they don’t have enough money. I’ve watched you let nurses and technicians from the hospital go in front of you in line so they can get back to work in time. I saw you jump up and catch the door to save a small child’s hand from being crushed. I watched you catch a toddler that tripped as he walked past your table. I saw you give up your table to an elderly couple when there was no room for them to sit down. I watched you put money on the table of a single mother who bought sandwiches only for her kids because she couldn’t afford one for herself. That is what I wanted in a husband—what more do I need to know?”
“Mam,” I began again, “you are truly an attractive woman and I am flattered by your comments, but I have to unconditionally decline your offer. The traits of character that you witnessed are the result of my submission to Christ. What you observed was Christ at work through me. In order for me to go out with you, a married woman, irrespective of the fact that I am also married and deeply in love with my wife, I would have to turn my back on God and in doing so, those traits that you find so desirable would disappear. You see, without continual submission to Christ I probably would be much like your husband.”
Obviously still not willing to give up, she stated, half questioning, half pleading, “Your wife wouldn’t have to even know we went out, would she? I mean it’s not like we have to have sex after dinner, we could just see what happens at dinner, then maybe we do, maybe we don’t. Couldn’t you just say you have to work late? Really, she doesn’t need to know unless something develops between us, right? Please, oh please?”
“Mam,” I replied, again addressing her formally, “do you and your husband believe in God?”
“Yes…sort of…well…uh…we go to church together whenever he’s not away on business. Why?”
“Do you own a Bible and do you have Internet access?”
“Yes, we have several Bibles and we’ve got DSL Internet…Why?”
“Has your husband ever physically abused you?”
“No, never…I would have been gone long ago if he had.”
“OK. Has he ever cheated on you sexually?”
“I…I don’t think so, but he travels out-of-town about 10 weeks of the year and he’s sure to have had lots of opportunity…so maybe he has…I just don’t know for sure.”
“You said that your sex life sucked and that your husband treated you poorly, but I am almost certain that your marriage can be made wonderful including phenomenal sex with your husband, if both of you are willing to make some changes. You both need to surrender to God and learn about His plan for marriage and all the incredibly joyous and fulfilling blessings that go along with it. If you are even willing to try, I’ll write down a couple verses of scripture that I want you look at in context—that means read what comes before and after.” She nodded her willingness, so I continued, “I’m also writing down the URL of a blog about ‘sex, marriage, and faith in God’ as well as the URLs of a couple websites, and a direct link to some articles that I believe can be instrumental at putting the two of you on track toward a loving and trusting marriage and a fulfilling sex life.”
She began fidgeting and looking at her watch, so I stopped with what I had written to that point and handed her the slip of paper. She stood up, picked up her stuff again, and announced, “I’ve got to get back to work…Thanks…I’m so glad I spoke with you…I’ll look these up [holding up the slip of paper I had written on] as soon as I get home…well…right after I call my husband—I really need to do that. It’s odd, I’ve watched you for months and I never would have taken you for a Bible-thumper.”
And with that, she was off to make sandwiches for the rest of her shift and I packed up and drove back to work thinking about this young girl whose life Christ may have just been able to touch in some small way and how many thousands of others there are out there just like her.
Most often, when I witness to someone about my faith experience, that’s the end of it as far as I know. It is infrequent that I discover where the Holy Spirit has led someone after witnessing to them, but at lunch today I saw this Subway employee for the first time since our encounter many weeks ago. I don’t know if God intervened to arrange our schedules so we didn’t see each other before today or whether it was coincidence, but my experience leans toward the former almost every time.
I walked up to the counter to place my order and paused to decide what I wanted, when the girl behind the counter said, “Hey 'Bible-thumper,' are you gonna order or just stand there?"
I looked up recognizing the voice, but hardly recognized the girl. Gone were the piercings in her nose and her lip—gone was the bleached blonde and brassy red tinting in her hair—gone was the bright, bright red lipstick. Her entire appearance was softer and more serene. I gave her my order and started to move on, when she said, “I need to give you something. Please don’t leave before I get it to you—OK?”
“OK,” I replied thinking, “Oh no, what now? I knew I should have gone to Moe’s for lunch.”
A few minutes later she handed me a piece of paper folded into quarters and simply said, “Thanks, I need to get right back to work. Thanks again.”
I waited until I was outside to open the note and read it, but the dramatic softening in her appearance should have been the clue that I needn’t have worried about the content of the note. It read…
Dear Bible-thumper…NOT!
You are the first person I’ve ever met that lived Christianity instead of preaching it. My husband and I want to thank you. I can’t say that all our problems are all gone, but I can say our marriage is on solid footing again, well I say again, but really it’s for the first time. Love has blossomed, selfishness is fading, and communication, respect, and trust are building. I called my husband the evening after I talked with you and told him everything. Particularly, how different things could have been if I had thrown myself at anyone else. Surprisingly, he told me that he’d never cheated on me but was tempted to do so that very same day and couldn’t go through with it for some reason. I told him I was certain that we could make our marriage be what we were looking for elsewhere. I emailed him all the notes you wrote down for me and we both began working on our relationship that very night. Things are so different now that we can’t believe that we ever contemplated cheating. We’ve got a long, long way to go with our sex life because of all the baggage we both bring from pre-marital sex relationships, but we agree that comparatively we’ve gone from worst to first in the ‘love department.’ We expect continued work on our selfishness, respect, and trust will take a lifetime but we’ve got forever and ever now. In hindsight it is amazing to see how God worked everything out.
You are the first person I’ve ever met that lived Christianity instead of preaching it. My husband and I want to thank you. I can’t say that all our problems are all gone, but I can say our marriage is on solid footing again, well I say again, but really it’s for the first time. Love has blossomed, selfishness is fading, and communication, respect, and trust are building. I called my husband the evening after I talked with you and told him everything. Particularly, how different things could have been if I had thrown myself at anyone else. Surprisingly, he told me that he’d never cheated on me but was tempted to do so that very same day and couldn’t go through with it for some reason. I told him I was certain that we could make our marriage be what we were looking for elsewhere. I emailed him all the notes you wrote down for me and we both began working on our relationship that very night. Things are so different now that we can’t believe that we ever contemplated cheating. We’ve got a long, long way to go with our sex life because of all the baggage we both bring from pre-marital sex relationships, but we agree that comparatively we’ve gone from worst to first in the ‘love department.’ We expect continued work on our selfishness, respect, and trust will take a lifetime but we’ve got forever and ever now. In hindsight it is amazing to see how God worked everything out.
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